HOW DO WE HANDLE IT WHEN WE LOSE SOMEONE?

Bismillahir Rahmaanir Raheem.

We know that death is a certainty but in reality we tend to harbour illusions that we will live forever. We feel as if those around us will not be taken from us, and we form deep attachments that make it difficult for us to cope, or even comprehend, when someone is not there anymore.

In understanding death, we have to first understand life. The nature of this world is that everything in it is temporary. Monuments crumble, civilizations perish, people come and go. Health alternates illness. The old make way for the new, and the cycle of life continues.

People are placed in our lives for a reason, but we lull ourselves into the false sense of security that they will be around indefinitely. This is why we cannot cope with the loss. We feel as if the death of a parent, a relative or a loved one is against the natural order of things, almost a betrayal, when in fact, the opposite is true – death is the only certainty in life.

We also approach life with an inherent sense of ownership. We feel as if people belong to us – our parents, children, spouses, wealth, or friends and many of us rely on them to be there for us forever; even more than we rely on our Creator.

In truth, we enter this world owning nothing and we leave taking nothing. We do not even own our bodies – our souls occupy them as trustees or as custodians, and our physical flesh is the temporary vessel for hosting our souls in the journey of life. Our permanent life is in the hereafter. Meantime, everything that crosses our paths, and everything that is placed in our hearts and hands, were put there as a trust from Allaah.

People are placed in our lives for different periods of time and at different points in our lives, as a trust and for a reason and wisdom that only Allah knows. We have to accept these relationships for what they are – something transitory. The situation will change: we will leave them, or they will leave us. We cannot claim a permanent stake in any relationship.

In fact, one of the things already ordained for us before we were even born, is when we will die. It is written for everyone and beyond our control to prevent or delay: from the cancer patient to the person who suddenly slipped on the pavement, death is an imminent appointment, not a random accident. To be continued in shaa Allaah. May Allah keep guiding us all and protect us from any satanic influences. Aameen.

What can you say about this post?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s